Sorority Row

Sorority Row
2009
Directed by: Stewart Hendler
Starring: Rumer Willis, Briana Evigan

So, this is why Netflix is awesome. Never would I go to Blockbuster to rent this (maybe drunk). Never would I watch it even if I recorded it on my DVR (maybe with a bunch of people). But for some reason, adding movies to my queue is really easy. So why not?

Sorority Row. More like No-bra-rority Row. This movie was actually quite intellectual. The intellect to show naked breasts in a horror film must have taken the genius of Kathryn "Deuce" Bigelow and James Cameron. Or maybe the work of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore. Their daughter Rumer plays a nerdy sorority chick who would never be allowed to pledge this sorority if she wasn't related to Demi and Bruce. She, along with some friends attempt to prank one of their exes because he had cheated on her. Confused yet?

For some reason they give her Floories that she knows about and she pretends to be dead to freak the boyfriend out. He gets so upset and frustrated the he jams a tire iron in her chest which actually does end up killing her. The rest of the movie wanders around showing slutty girls try to look professional to their boyfriends' rich parents and other adults. If you're in a sorority, everyone knows how you act in college. It's nothing to be ashamed of, but acting like you don't inject vodka into your vains and sleep with psychiatrists to gain pills is a load of crap.

Soap box done. Moving on. I don't know why I'm spending so much time writing about this. It has some interesting story that actually could have been interesting if they actually stayed on topic. The scare factor was nill. The boob factor was decent. The chicks pillow fighting during a rager was insane. Not only pillow fighting but they overloaded the hot tub with bubble bath which of course made for every average man's wet dream (sorry Mom). Feeling a bit disappointed I went back to my facebook to see what all normal people in (and out) of college were doing. Moral of the story: do not get a flat tire with a sorority girl. She'll just jam it through your heart.